Self Compassion 101

One thing always seems to calm me in moments of stress or heartache. In the book, “Self Compassion” by Kristin Neff, she talks about the power of mantras. She suggests that there are four important points to cover in this mindfulness practice.

Acknowledging your pain

“This is a moment of suffering.”

Recognizing that feeling pain is normal

“Suffering is a part of life.”

You are not alone

“There are many people in this world suffering too.”

Allowing yourself to experience self compassion

“May I be kind to myself in this moment.”

 

These words have consistently helped me in my hardest moments, but feel free to change around the words to whatever may resonate more with you personally. Ex: I am going through a really hard time. In life it is normal to go through painful moments. I know that I am not alone in my feelings of pain. I will take care of my mind, body, and soul as I work through this difficult moment.

 

Don’t cut yourself off from love

It can be so easy to isolate ourselves when we feel like everything is caving in. Maybe it’s because talking about it would mean acknowledging how much pain we feel. Or maybe we are afraid to burden others with our problems. But I have found that more often than not, your friends want to be there for you. You deserve to open yourself up to the love that is waiting for you. Sometimes we may feel like we don’t have all the words to express ourselves, but I believe that comes with lots and lots of practice. I would challenge you to reach out to at least one person. Even if all your message reads is, “I’m not okay.” It is okay to not be okay. Let others love you where you are, and try to stay open.

Do Something You Love

Thank God for self care! No, you do not need to solve all of your life problems today. It is perfectly acceptable to take a break and perhaps do nothing “productive” today. Ask yourself this simple question, “What do I need?” You might need to watch a funny movie to lift your spirits. You might feel like indulging in a bath and listening to your favorite songs. Or maybe, you need to read, do yoga, call your best friend etc. Self care looks different to everyone, so ask yourself what you need on a case to case basis.

Self Compassion is about the realization that it is okay to be human. It is okay to process through difficult moments. It is okay to be YOU. Give yourself grace and be kind to yourself where you are today. You deserve it.

36 Comments

  1. Love this – and well articulated as always. I feel like we aren’t encouraged to be kind to ourselves, and that’s a shame. There’s a difference between having respect for your own needs, and selfishly filling your wants.

  2. I totally relate with posts like this as I am all for Self-love. You need to be at your best to deliver your best to others. It is definitely fine to be human and to always do what you love

  3. You are amazing! You always talk about important things and I love it! Over the years I have come to realize that it’s okay to not be okay, and that I shouldn’t feel guilty when I don’t feel like doing anything besides laying in bed and watching tv/movies whether because of depression or chronic pain. 💕

  4. Such a great post! It is so important to take care of yourself and understand that it’s ok to feel all the emotions that go along with this bumby road called life!

  5. This is a really beautiful post. A lot of the content on self-love and self-care seems shallow but the way you so lovingly described the importance of this and its realness is refreshing.

  6. It’s really easy to forget to be kind to yourself – this was a much needed reminder to myself. My mood and my body are telling me I need a rest – I should listen and take some time to nurture me!

  7. This is an important post, there are times we get so caught up in life and self-blame. Its okay to take a step back and look at the situation from an outsiders point of view. This is easier said than done. I always remind myself to breathe and not move on. Self-pity and criticism are both very easy to human nature.

  8. Amazing post! This is definitely advice that needs to be given out more! I’ve been pushing myself to do millions of things in one week, and this post really reminded me that it’s ok to take a break, even if it’s for a few hours to just do absolutely nothing and rest.

  9. We often skip this step because we are so busy caring for others. That’s not a bad thing, but we have to care for ourselves in order to care for others. This goes deeper than self care. Great post!

  10. 100% needed to read this today. I’ve been struggling with this sense of I’m not doing enough because of my illness and I hate the guilt associated with that. So thank you for this. Thank you so much.

  11. I can relate to this post. As a Mother, I tend to let myself get to “0” before I care for myself. I write a lot about self-compassion on my blog, Divine Motherhood. Great Post!!

  12. We remember to be kind to others but are the hardest on ourselves . These mantras will serve me well when I am about to have one of my meltdowns . I totally agree thank God for self care . Doing nothing and taking time to be present can do wonders for your soul .

  13. Yes! All of these points are so true and so important to keep in mind. Especially when you’re feeling low. Love the part about not cutting yourself off from love…. That’s probably the first thing I do when my spirits are down.

    1. I will definitely check it out! Thank you so much. I will probably reread it again soon. It really touched my heart

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